SOOOOO, my in-laws( FYI: that’s the socially correct term to call the parents of your baby’s daddy!) decided to fly us out to Texas this past weekend. hmmm...interesting....
Rule of thumbs and FYIs.
1 JUST SO YOU KNOW Parents out there: PEOPLE DO NOT LIKE YOU (YEAH YOU PARENTS) WHEN YOU DECIDE TO BRING YOUR CHILDREN ON A PLANE. Straight out. Nope it’s not like when you’re at the store and Greyson says "Meow" to a shopper that passes by and they say" HOW CUUUTEEEE!!! Nope...the airport is a totally different ballgame. THEY start staring at you as soon as you stand in line to check in as if the kids have poo coming out of their pants!
2 ALWAYS BRING A BUDDY: If you’re like me (I’m a superwoman) You deal with two kids as a single mom so you automatically get competitive and PSYCH yourself out that you can handle two kids alone at the airport...actually I thought I can handle the whole dang experience....NOPE not really cuz three day trip means 1 suitcase for the kids, 1 suitcase for mom, 1 diaper bag with toys and snacks, 1 carry on laptop ( the best thing for a 2.5 yr. and up) since American Airline stinks and doesn’t have movies, your own purse, two carseats since you can’t BORROW one in another state and last but not least a chocolate milky way and a frapp to wire ya through the whole flight!
3 LEASHES: I normally don’t believe in the whole leash thing you see at Disneyland with normally all the international parents strap their kids too??? You know, the ones that now are trying to make them cute so they add a backpack that looks like a monkey,but little do non parents notice is that if you look closely you see a long strap connected to the bottom of the monkey and it’s a LEASH!!!!!! yeah, we’ll I almost bought one for GREY cuz we weren’t even supposed to be at BAGGAGE CLAIM and he somehow took off and ended up climbing into the revolving belt that baggages go on for arriving customers!!! ugghhhh I knew my weekend was going to be a good one!
4 DELAYS cause Abnormal behavior: Kay so I prepared a great snack bag and timed everything perfectly. EXCEPT for delays...yeah, so don’t try to beat the delay and try to outwit the tummy’s of your toddlers...when they are hungry feed them because once again, you will get those deadly stares from everyone else who is pissed off that the flight was delayed and they keep staring at that young lady with two kids who are eating lipgloss and packets of splenda that apparently was left behind for starving children. Yeah....Bella helped herself to the Splenda she found crawling under chairs and Grey helped himself to her purse which was apparantly stock up with edible lipgloss.ME? I never knew I would stuff my face with chicken nuggets cuz it’s all that’s available..so I’m guilty, I was endulging as well.
5 MEDICATE WHEN NEEDED!!! OOOhhhh, this is a good one! Definitely don’t believe in medicating, but seriously, those stares get worse when you board the plane! yeah they do, good luck if one of your children (normally the one that can’t listen to earphones connected to the laptop which is playing 101 Dalmations) begins to take every piece of clothing that is on his body or item at reach and starts throwing them at the person in front of him. What’s worse is Grey used to wear a cast on one foot and I wouldn’t put a sock since his foot barely fit. Well, his left foot now stinks sooooo bad. And a DC shoe is really chunky and hurts when it’s being thrown at the back of your head. Socks are softer but still stink, bunnies jingle as they are thrown, sippy cups...really don’t get me started how times he chucked that! At one point, the flight attendent asked for my drink request and I asked for a cocktail. I had no tylenol or nyquil at hand so I gave him the straw to my JACK AND COKE and wow did he quiet down!
6 BE COURTEOUS Soooo really when you request that JACK AND COKE on the plane, immediately offer one to ever person surrounding your child. Right off the bat ( it costs $5 about 6 people so plan ahead) consider it an investment. Those people will stare back at the other people coming towards the bathroom and do the whole "shushshh" thing since they feel obligated due to the alcohol content and altitude differences. At the end of the flight, someone will definitely say " Oh your kids were so good, I could barely hear them." :) I learned that on the way back from Texas.
7 WINDOW SEATS Kay don’t let your 3 year old with a huge imagination sit by the window closest to the jet!!! Check the paint then if you must, if there are cracks (which normally there are), immediately tell her the pilot will be fixing them. PEOPLE DON’T LIKE IT WHEN THEY HEAR " The plane is broken mommy, the plane is broken!"
8 BATHROOM 101 Now make sure you really do a play by play with your kid as you take them to the bathroom on the plane. Voices go far on planes. Keep her preoccupied on something especially if you approach the bathroom and you notice THAT SMELL. Cover her mouth then to keep yourself from 15 people turning around and looking at you when you child screams loudly since the bathroom is normally located in the back by then jet..."EWWWW MOMMY IS STINKS LIKE POO POO in HERE!!! EWWWW IT’S GROSS...WHY IS THEIR POO POO STILL IN THE TOILET?" your best bet is to just put a pull up on her and tell her for once to just pee in her pants cuz the bathrooms broken. saves you the embarressment.
9 BAGGAGE CLAIM Again, keep your eye on your children while trying to locate the 7 items that you checked. If not you will hear murmurs through the crowd and look to your left and see them hauling butt towards the end of the terminal about 5 baggage claims away in laughter because they were just released from the flight from hell! Crazy crazy crazy...I have never ran so fast before and I actually looked like one of those moms from down south where they grab their kids by one arm and literally lift them off the ground for about 100ft, pissed as heck. OHHHH and Grey totally thought it was hilarious.Bella? Yeah she kept saying"Mommy be happy, Mommy be happy."
10 LEAVE YOUR BAGGAGE AT HOME Make sure if it’s your husband, your friend or the father of your children that was forced to come because they are FAMILY you do not let them DRINK at the airport, on the plane, on the way to the airport, waiting for the driver and on the way back from the plane. WHY??? You are better off leaving your baggage at home then!!!
IT WAS FUN THOUGH!!!!!! :) Next time I will sooooo be prepared!
