Okay so it’s been a minute and I was recently inspired to get out of my stinky mood so here’s some toilet reading for you...
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS HUMOR! NOT INTENDED FOR CHILD ENDANGERMENT! LOL
1. I recently just realized that my kids are seriously getting worse and worse LOL
2. Bella is 3.5 and already has attended two preschools.
3. She currently has two verbally warnings at her current school.Which is CCV and they are so gracious as to give me a reasonable pastoral discount which I normally feel like I should overextend my gratitude.
4. Apparantly other parents feel my daughter is a threat to society esp. Malificent’s mother.
5. Does Malificent’s mother realize where that name comes from? (the wicked witch from Sleeping Beauty! duh)
6. If you were a creative extrovert like Bella wouldn’t you physically attack a person named MALIFICENT!!!!!! in fear of dieing!!!!!
7. 6 has made me aware of being extremely cautious as to the care of Bella’s finger nails.
8. 6 also made me realize I have to talk to Bella like she’s 15 and explain why all these dumb Disney movies are NOT REAL!!!! and attacking anyone is not good. SHE must LOVE right?
9. Unfortunately Bella has a record at the age of 3.5. She was caught escaping from the CCV Sonrise Preschool playground 2 weeks ago.
10. Bella and her best friend Tiffany decided to climb a hill, dig a hole under the fence and take off running as if they are Thelma and Louise escaping Aclcatraz into CCV’s HUGE parking lot.
11. All she can say to me is " MOM, I like to dig holes."
12. Yesterday Bella came running towards me with an orange cup in her hand and eyes just gleaming. I thought oh she caught a butterfly. Instead it was filled with about 45 rolly polly’s, handful of worms and some other misc. insects. I figured she was diggin holes again.
13. I accidently left the orange cup at my dad’s last night before church and apparently Michelle almost drank water from it. haha
14. Bella loves her brother, but the other day I realized that it probably alarms other parents from inside their homes when they hear me screaming at Bella that Grey is NOT a horse, she CAN NOT ride him and to take the jumping rope away from around his neck.
15. I do fear for his health at times. Boys are worse. They say be careful your kid doesn’t drown in the tub, but they really should advise you of them DRINKING toilet water with their pretend kitchen mugs.
16. I figured it would be educational for Grey to learn to pee by watchin his cousin Silas pee....uh not good...1. do not trust that it will go well as you multi task and get dinner ready. 2. Make sure to tell the elder to not encourage the younger to touch the rainbow as it hit’s the jackpot! Really GROSS.
17. Boys do love to eat and do love dirt. I did find Grey eating grass the other day.
18. I asked Bella if she wanted a dress up party for her birthday. She said she wanted a pet, I asked which one, she said a BEARDED DRAGON. Do you guys understand that that is like an enormous Iguana about 5 feet long that you can walk on an actual leash.
19. I guess that’s the ramifications of a split family, she visits daddy and he takes her to reptile stores for fun without my permission. It explains 12.
20. Her teacher Ms. Jamel said " Oh Bella always talks about Charlie and Lola,. she must love that cartoon!?" Little does Ms. Jamel know that Charlie and Lola are Bella’s Godmothers pet Ball Pythons. Yeah...snakes that she feeds mice too and says..."HOW CUTE while they squeeze them to death."
well, I’m taking her on a plane this weekend and enrolling her in gymnastics....i’m sure I’ll have more soon:)
